FOM Notes

Is The Door Locked?
Part 4 of the 6 Part Series . . . Getting Out Of The Doghouse

May 10, 2009 Pastor Scott Oldenburgh

WHY IS OUR SEX LIFE IMPORTANT?

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24

I Good sex can create incredible (intimacy)

I Bad sex can destroy the (foundations) of marriage

KEY PRINCIPLE

Sex is not just a (physical) act

COMMON BEDROOM DISAGREEMENTS

½ F (requency) * How often should we have sex?

THE 3 C’S OF SEXUAL FREQUENCY

C (ommunicate)

C (ompromise)

C (onflict)

½ P (references) * What am I comfortable with?

DOES THE BIBLE SPEAK TO THIS?

· Adultery (Leviticus 20:10, Matthew 5:28)

· Homosexuality/Sodomy (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, Romans 1:27, I Corinthians 6:9)

· Orgies (I Peter 4:3, Romans 13:13)

· Prostitution (Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17)

· Lust (Mark 7:21-22, Ephesians 4:19)

· Obscenity (Ephesians 4:29, Ephesians 5:4)

· Incest (Leviticus 18:7, 20:11)

· Deprivation (I Corinthians 7:5)

DON’T FORGET THE GUIDING PRINCIPLE OF HEALTHY SEX

P (ermissible) vs. B (eneficial)

“Everything is permissible for me – but not everything is beneficial.”

I Corinthians 6:12

Examples: oral sex, sex toys, role play/fantasy, location, sexual positions

½ S (elfishness) * What is the goal of our sex life?

If (orgasm) is the only goal of sex, then the other partner isn’t necessary

½ Q (uality) * What can I do to make it better?

If you don’t (study) in the bedroom, don’t expect a good grade

RECIPE FOR CREATING A HEALTHIER SEX LIFE

P Planning creates (priority)

P Commitment creates (passion)

P Spontaneity creates (pleasure)