FOM Notes

Stop Communicating With Each Other

Part 2 of 6 in the series “How To Get A Divorce”

April 6, 2008                                                      Pastor Scott Oldenburgh

 

GOAL OF A HEALTHY MARRIAGE: TWO BECOME ONE FLESH

 

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.’  The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”

Genesis 2:22-25

 

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Complete emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical bonding to one another

 

 

THE MOST OBVIOUS OBSTACLE TO TWO BECOMING ONE FLESH

(Communicating) with the other person

 

WHY PEOPLE CHOOSE NOT TO COMMUNICATE

 

r  They’re too (lazy)

r  They’re not interested or (invested)

r  They’re too (busy)

r  They fail to see it as a (priority)

r  They think it’s too (risky)

 

 

THE RESULTS OF FAILED COMMUNICATION

 

Failure to communicate means . . .

 

I  I have (no right to complain) about what the other person does not know

 

REALITY: I may never have (my) needs met



I  I have no idea how to (be the best spouse) I can be

 

REALITY: I’m just winging it with no (game plan)

 

 

I  We have no idea how we are (actually doing) in our marriage

 

REALITY: We are riding the emotional (rollercoaster)

 

 

 

PRACTICAL STEPS TO REBUILDING COMMUNICATION

No Strategy = No Change

 

ü  Commit to (daily) debriefing

ü  Commit to (regular) checkups

ü  Commit to (scheduled) family meetings

 

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.’ ”

Genesis 2:18