FOM Notes

CHRISTIAN PEOPLE HAVE BORING SEX

Part 5 of 6 in the series “Marriage Myths”

April 30, 2006 Pastor Scott Oldenburgh

MYTH #13

Christian people shouldn’t talk about sex

TRUTH

A lack of communication leads to frustration in the bedroom

COMMUNICATION ABOUT

« Frequency: Can (planned) sex be any fun?

« Preferences/Creativity/Technique: Are we (enjoying) sex?

« Foreplay/Mood: What are the (turn-ons)?

« Locations: Where is the (zone)?

« Guilt/Freedom: How do you (feel) about this?

MYTH #14

Passion in the bedroom is dirty

TRUTH

God created us with the ability to experience great intimacy with one another

I Sex allows us to create (new life)

“God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.’ ”

Genesis 1:28

I The sexual experience was intended as a union of marital (oneness)

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24

I A healthy sex life arouses (passion) for our spouse

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine . . . Take me away with you – let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.”

Song of Solomon 1:2, 4

I Sex is (enjoyable)

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer – may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”

Proverbs 5:18-19

I A healthy sex life helps guard against (immorality)

“Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

1 Corinthians 7:5

I The sexual experience brings great (comfort) and (security) to a marriage

“Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him.”

2 Samuel 12:24

MYTH #15

We can do whatever we want as long as we are married

TRUTH

God has set some boundaries to maximize the sexual experience

9 PROHIBITED SEXUAL BEHAVIORS

r Impurity/Fornication: Using sex outside its intended (purpose)

1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, 2 Corinthians 7:1

r Adultery: Sex outside the (marriage) covenant

Leviticus 20:10, Matthew 5:28

r Homosexuality/Sodomy: (Same sex) relationships

Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, Romans 1:27, 1 Corinthians 6:9

r Orgies: (Multiple partner) sex

1 Peter 4:3, Romans 13:13

r Prostitution: Selling (self) for sex

Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17

r Lust: Desiring for (someone else)

Mark 7:21-22, Ephesians 4:19

r Obscenity: Treating sex as (vile) and (vulgar)

Ephesians 4:29, Ephesians 5:4

r Incest: Sex within the same (family)

Leviticus 18:7, 20:11

r Involving Others: Includes (fantasies) and (reality)

Hebrews 13:4

A GUIDING PRINCIPLE IF SCRIPTURE DOES NOT DIRECTLY ADDRESS IT

(Permissible) and (Beneficial)

“Everything is permissible for me – but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me – but I will not be mastered by anything.”

1 Corinthians 6:12

Evaluation Questions:

1. Is it beneficial to both?

2. What is the goal of sex in your marriage?

(Orgasm) vs (Soulgasm)

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and two will become one flesh.”

Ephesians 5:31